


Failure

by mismatched_ideas



Series: Starting Gun, Photo Finish [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Confessions, Day 4, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Free day, M/M, Seungchuchu Week 2017, Skype, Stress, Talking, olympian AU, too many sun/moon/star similes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-01 22:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10931397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mismatched_ideas/pseuds/mismatched_ideas
Summary: Seung-gil didn't want to talk to Phichit. Not today. Not on the worst day of his life.





	Failure

Seung-gil would be the first to admit he still didn’t quite understand technology, least of all Skype. So when Phichit called on what might be the worst day of his life he hadn’t meant to pick up the call. He was trying to ignore it but hit the wrong button. It would be the first time, it was just that usually he hit 'ignore' instead of 'answer.' 

“Hey, Seung–” Phichit’s voice cut off, concern edging on panic taking over his voice, “What’s wrong?”

Now he figured out how to hang-up, hitting the button without saying anything. Phichit tried to call back immediately but Seung-gil ignored it, not touching anything for fear of accidentally picking up again. 

His phone buzzed a few times next to him before Phichit tried another Skype call. After ten minutes Seung-gil started to think Phichit wasn’t going to leave him alone. After fifteen Mi-na was knocking on his door.

“Seung-gil, pick up his damn calls!” He heard someone reprimanding her language from farther off but his sister just ignored it. “He’s worried and now he’s texting me to find out what’s wrong. Fix whatever you did.” 

“I didn’t do anything.” He called, defensive as he tried to not sound like he was still crying. That was just another thing he was failing. “I just want to be left alone.”

There was silence only broken by Skype ringing again. 

“Talk to him, Seung-gil.” Her voice was lower, more concerned. “I know you won’t talk to me or Mom or Dad but you need to talk to someone. I’m worried. We’re all worried.”

Skype fell silent but another call came in immediately. Seung-gil just wanted Phichit to give up on him like everyone else already had. It was easier that way. 

But Seung-gil found he couldn’t help himself. Maybe it was selfish and greedy to answer the next call but he did it anyways. He knew how bad he looked, red eyes and messy hair paired with a dimly lit room and huge bags under his eyes. He couldn’t even tell if he was crying anymore. His body was numb and felt so much like it wasn't his. 

Phichit murmured something that sounded like a prayer, panic gone from his face but a deep concern remaining in its place. 

“Seung-gil, talk to me.”

“I don’t really want to.” He said, his voice sounding even worse than it had talking to Mi-na. “I just– I don’t–” Now he could feel tears on his cheeks again. “I don’t deserve to talk.”

“Seung-gil, that is nonsense. I want you to tell me what’s wrong.”

“Me?” He offered but Phichit only crossed his arms and Seung-gil deflated. “Everything?” 

“Explain it to me.”

“I’m falling behind in archery.” He started with that because it was, honestly, the thing that bothered him the most. At least he’d always known he was an idiot. “And I’ve failed the last two tests I took. I’ll never get into university with these grades and I might not even be able to qualify for Rio. What am I going to do with my life if I can’t even do those two things?”

“Seung-gil, look at me.” He dragged his eyes up to look at Phichit. Bright, friendly, happy Phichit. Even when his face was set in a serious frown, Seung-gil still thought he was a little like the sun and he knew he should look away. But something in him couldn’t look away, happy to let his eyes burn. 

He was the moon, just lucky if he could reflect a little bit of Phichit’s light. 

“I’m looking.” He croaked. 

“Stop me if I’m wrong. You feel like you’re worthless and you’ve let everyone down.” Seung-gil didn’t respond but he also didn’t stop him. “You think you don’t deserve love or attention. But you're amazing.”

“You’re wro–”

“This isn’t the part where you stop me.” Phichit interrupted. “You _are_ amazing. So you got two failing grades, have you ever gotten a failing grade before?” Seung-gil shook his head. “You’ve been able to keep up your grades while also practicing archery at a level most people your age couldn’t imagine. You won Olympic gold at only sixteen! You're smart.” Phichit wished he could lean through the screen and hug Seung-gil. He didn’t think the Korean teenager was much of a hugger but he also thought Seung-gil might make an exception for him. He hoped Seung-gil would make an exception for him. “You’re smart and athletic. You’re the best of the best. You’re a good friend.”

“Phichit, that’s a stretch.” Seung-gil was looking back down at his lap. “You know what my teammates call me?” What was the English? “They call me a robot. I’m a near perfect shot but I have no feelings, no emotions.”

“Well they’re wrong and they’re assholes.” Seung-gil was surprised by the amount of disdain in Phichit’s voice. “You’re a great friend. You’re fun to talk to and sometimes you can even be funny. You’ve helped me through so much even though we barely knew each other at the time and–”

Seung-gil looked up at Phichit, confused by his sudden stop, but Phichit wasn’t looking at his camera anymore. Instead, his eyes had found something very interesting to look at to his right and his cheeks were flushed.

“Phichit?”

“You’re really attractive and– and–” Seung-gil didn't know what Phichit was saying but when he captured Seung-gil’s eyes in a set, confident gaze Seung-gil thought he might have some idea. “This might be a bad time but Seung-gil, I really like you. Will you please go out with me?”

“I– umm–” Well, at least he wasn’t crying anymore. Now, though, there was a different kind of panic in his throat. “Me?”

Phichit giggled nervously, “Duh. Who else would I be talking to? Your boy band poster?” Seung-gil blushed, both at the conversation and the fact that he really needed to take that poster down. “I want to date you.”

“Oh, well, okay.” Seung-gil cursed his lack of eloquence. “Or, I mean, yes.”

“Sorry for springing that on you.” Phichit scratched the back of his head, another nervous giggle escaping his mouth. “This should have been about you, sorry.”

Seung-gil felt heat rising in his entire face, “No, it’s fine. I– I never thought you’d– I always assumed–” He took a deep breath, trying again. “I like you too but didn’t think you liked me.”

“Well, I do.” Phichit was matter-of-fact enough when he said that that Seung-gil wondered for a moment why he’d ever doubted him. After a few silent moments of eye contact, Phichit’s face softened. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I think so.” Seung-gil knew panic would probably return in a few hours but now that Phichit had seen him at his worse there wasn’t much he was afraid of. And he was a little more confident in Phichit’s genuine interest in his wellbeing. “I’m going to try and get some sleep.”

“Good, you need it.”

“I’ll text you when I wake up.”

“Okay.” Phichit smiled, soft and content. “Keep me in the loop.”

“I will.” Seung-gil paused then let himself smile, slight but noticeable. “Good morning.”

Phichit didn’t speak for a little, relishing in the small smile. It was so genuine and fond he thought he could bask in its light forever. He thought he was pretty lucky to have a friend – a boyfriend, he reminded himself giddily – with such a nice smile. It was like a small sun, hard to see if you weren’t looking but a star nonetheless.

“Good night, Seung-gil.”

**Author's Note:**

> I... I have to apologize. After three days of fluff I'm sure nobody was expecting me to do this but... well angst is in my blood and I always go back to it. Also there's more angst ahead. Day 8 is really fluffy tho so that's something.
> 
> I may have projected some of my own self-confidence issues onto Seung-gil. I have to admit that I love Seung-gil and he is probably the character I am most similar to so I tend to project my problems onto him when I write.
> 
> Also, shut-up, my own writing didn't make me cry. That would be dumb.


End file.
